Adrift

This is what keeps me going through the day,

the smell
of the thin air that exudes hope and purity and

the sound of
a motorbike passing
by

and

the look
of the night and the
wood of pines and glitter and dark air and of the whistle of trees

and everything would appear to
be so obtuse at first but now it's
getting clearer

and I recall
what used to be a glory haze that seem
to lengthen forever much like as if you were throwing asphalt into the pavement,
partially fulfilling what appears to be a void of longing

and I was rooting, although you couldn't hear me, but I was.

And I'm not rightminded
And I never was
And I won't listen to them.

I endure and strengthen for the outcome is so rewarding.
Therefore I bear,

and make me batter.

doesn't mind.


So tragic
and selfdestructive
and barely sane.


You are so effervescent
for me
and me,
I'm so oblivious
for you,

overlooked.


Eclipsed.

-


But I'll be surefooted when time is proper.

I'm sailing, adrift.

Let me.

Hope

And just like that

inhaling and so on,

he used to

carry everything clumsily aroud
and ride a bike
and be real quiet




like recently riped wind-dropped apples

and windchimes.

And me growing mute each

time more and

yet daring to speak

and everything being so sacred

so half-speeded

making each move last

longer than the other





starting anew
each time we would leave
and each time we came
and stains imbedded upon.
and me I'm wistful.

Sure your body does that to mine
And the stirring of birds

And your smile is

heartbeats and pure blood

pumping
and your eyelashes flutter and each time they do it's

a choir's voice melting in the dark-singing in a cave
and fainting

with an echo

flowing

Oh how I loved you

and thy knees, thy wrists.


Shake the merry sun off
and make me merrier

Though me
I'm as

merry as one can be


I pray and
there's a garden

there,
and turmoil there

Lands shall

not break us apart

Rather pull us closer
through interwoven arms.

Fragment (Drought II)

Crystal.

nevertheless,
while this drought lingers,

I will enter a state of closuresealedrestrained

I will slide you into oblivion.
Let orbs flow elsewhere-not-here.

-

Construction.

of whichever material.
with one mission which is buildingafortressthatkeepsmeaway

-

Core

stands for the essence, the innermost part, the ethereal matter of one's self.
Which after all, lingers but hidden
In order to have a shine of its own, when time is proper.
And, then, the cue is given, and flowers thriveblossomgracefully

Drought

Water : you.

The drought was called beforehand, and now it's here.
I was given time
to taste
the few drops left.
They were colored turquoise.

I looked for them, and found them and enjoyed
and I do not regret,
but:

Dehydration
came quickly, almost instantly.
I covet
for more.

I've been here before.
It's a pattern. It's the same, the same.
I would lean into water,
to seek light, and hope.
And now it's gone.
And the never-ceasing slits ache and bite, sternfully, and again.
And they repeat. Over and over.

Drool, in pain.
Salt, and shocks, and heartbeats, and mud.

It will only get better.
It has to.


It most likely will.

And, soon,
the drought will be gone,
and a torrential outpour will invade this valley,
I will see the sight of hopeful, silver, luminous january rain.
and I will take water for granted again,
and I'll swim in turquoise-coated waters again,
and I will come back with those sideways glances,
and angels will play trumpets in unison,
and light will shine on,
and the wind will blow above our shoulders, and far beyond.

yearning...

Wooden

Wooden at first,
before made
into
a flexible
matter.

Putting on a show,
down on both knees.

from the unnecessary, to the essential.

Made of ooze. Moisture leaking from each pore.
Ebb
off.

Exude
me
off
this
place

Bodily functions are self-praised.

what could be more elastic than this?

you're being
s t r e t c h e d
and never breaking.
and pure fiction.
and heavy bruises.

Be reliable for once, and take full place of whichever object you're being poured into.

As a way of concluding and obliterating the uncertainty.

Should I?

...


And, sure enough, the look on my face eradiated a beam of light as you uttered the words I was longing for, and along with them came an automatic pattern which caught me off guard, even though I knew it would come,

but, in a form of polite contentment, (which was, after all, the only way I was able to showcase what I felt) I quickly packed the rest of my things and I left because,


there were no other issues to be unveiled.

And I took it for granted, which was the proper thing to do.



So, I left,
and I was amazed at how quickly things vary, in such little time.
From the perspective I'm taking place (the side I'm discussing, always being aware that there are plenty of views, whether it's viewed from an academic way, personal way, environmental way, etcetera) everything seemed like a void, unclear and blurry
And now everything was on the table and everything was so palpable and one could see the future, so to speak.


And, now
I was

just ok.

Knowing that there is hope, even when you no longer think it will.

Anyways, this whole matter is starting to be very much tongue-in-cheek. And I see it more as a way of enjoying, and being sarcastic, and making fun of me, and never taking life seriously, and proving things to myself, and keeping secrets, (to get to say: "I know something you don't", like a child would) and feeling the thrill and the frostbite propelling upon, and acting, and hiding things whilst I smile to myself, and saying "if only you'd know", and that is quite rewarding for I've grown apart and changed so much this year, it is rather ironic, funny, yet amazing.


What's left to do?

Nothing.

For I've seen the blueprints, and each step I've memorized.
It goes like this: I wait, I see, I leave, I return, I see, I leave for good, the drought starts, the drought ends. I return, you return, and I will have flashbacks of mid-year.

Blame me, I find funny how life works.

Water had never tasted so good.

Moratorium

The facilities built around you, in order to help you, or to stimulate you, or to lure you into doing what they agree to be good have crashed - The longevity of them, to some point, was allegedly efficient, but proven wrong as they are now, they are no longer in charge and must leave.

As for now, (and as a possible result of this decrease) you mistakenly invested on a few unnecessary issues which are not needed to be argued, for the mistakes made are long gone by now, and probably fixed by the holders that were recently upgraded (also, as a result of this decrease).

Despite what has been said, the tasks are not to be seen as a form of punishment (or something imposed, if you will), rather as a form of gratitude : a trophy yet to be awarded.

In order to rectify, or to restore this downhill state, some things need to be arranged, arrayed. And some others : simply do not. It is your mission to find out which ones are, which ones are not. You've been given the deadline, and a few hints to get you going, as one might say.

Lastly, as we speak, we're being recorded, for you to consult, when in doubt, and to wisely change locations once you have assured youself to have a task completed. Stick to the plan, and, again, do not try to decipher the codes on the device, for a trigger was precisely set upon it, which activates an alarm directly that will let us know if you have. We will meet again in a couple of days for further information, and for the missions completed so far to be analyzed.

Heavily flooded

a s h e s

skin and muscle, both.


Thrive. struggle.
collapse.

and do it again.

----

r e m o v e

the bind

gracefully.

and the cue
shall be

m o u t h e d

----

numerous strings
coming up

from your

m o u t h

----

it's been betoken
now, perform.

----

s u r r e n d e r

Ignite your
self

outwards.

when ablazed,
embrace

the fire
and

suggest

kindly

holding back
the willpower.

Heirloom

I'm given an heirloom which is a halo proned body-full which promotes the growth of my nearby beings inwards and I felt the resonance being uttered and I stayed there up-on-one-foot and I welcomed the noise open-handed and the core melted into the rest and the seeds were filled with pure voltage and the static awaited for the contact of the being I was waiting for.

Upfront

Nevermind

For thou are stronger now and shielded, at least until thy eyes meet thy lover.

Undo

For the armour is around thou, tightly protecting.

Until now thou were not aware, but it embraces thou, and thy courage is built upon and above everything.

Call it a day, and focus into what is really important.

Rock-built as thou are now, thou are able to endure until then, and able to wait as well, are not thou?

The reward is breath-taking.

There goes thy incentive.

Intermission 2

It's wednesday.

Mood: frustated.
Because I have so many things to do and so very little time, and I'm not in the mood for writing papers, or anything really.
And I've been locked in my house and not going anywhere and stopped caring and left things to rot and there's a plate with a rampant army of ants which I left unchecked and now I have to take care of it, although it's not a task at all, but still.

Anyhow I manage to stay focused and positive and centered and optimistic because these past days have easily gone fast, and I want Friday to arrive soon.
And there's so many things that keep my mind busy, which has been quite good and as long as I keep this mode, I'm fine.

But, something's bugging me
And I'm not sure why --
...

well...

I've been told that I have to be grateful with what I got, and not greedily covet for more.
And I am.

But who is to blame, really?

The weather is ok although I've seen better.

Intermission

As a disadvantage, communities interfere. Stubbornly but with good intentions.

We promptly react, not processing the thoughts, rather setting them loose.
They're not eminent to us.
We withdraw from them.

-

It is the first day of december and I'm cold-feeted and dressed unproperly for the weather.
I don't want this month to be over, really.
For me to cope with uncertainty, which I never liked.
But I'm concealing it, so I have to deal with it.

-

I don't like rain.

-

As a rule, I don't watch T.V on mondays,
because there's nothing good to watch, really.
And I finish unfinished papers, projects and whatnot.
And I listen to some music.

Winter although there isn't.